Wanted: New Roommate

so today i found out that starting in june or so there will be a vacancy in my apartment. i love my apartment--it's in the very tiny "safe" part of wash heights, it's close to school but cheaper than school housing, there are fun and nice people here and we have PLANTs. that's right, people. PLANTS. and a living room and big kitchen and lots of space that most new yorkers daren't even dream of.

that said, when considering what would make a good fit for me and megan, i wondered what qualities we would like in our future roommate and these are the few just off the top of my head:

1) must not have aspergers or OCD-like tendencies.
2) be clean, and a cleaner (as in willing to pitch in with chores and stuff)
3) showers under 20 minutes
4) doesn't like cooking (so i can have a guinea pig and so that my food can finally do what it's been threatening to do all year in the fridge--hostile takeover)
5) does not shed pubic hair like a senile golden retriever. and if s/he does, will promptly clean it up.
6) must have above average social skills so that i will want to be friends and hang out with you and sometimes do things in the city with.
7) likes to watch tv/use the internet (this is not a make or breaker, but it would be nice to have someone split the tv/internet bill with)
8) preferably doesn't bring strange men or women home (and certainly not both at the same time) but if s/he must, make sure the sex isn't loud.
9) open to the idea of a pet? maybe a thought. something low maintenance that doesn't shed and doesn't get all up into my space. like a rubber chicken but cuddlier.

if you meet all these criteria, please apply at kathleenmchiu@gmail.com. picture not necessary.