Sunday, November 22, 2009

missed letters, pt II

dear popo,

i know that you mean well, and as my grandma, it's part of your job description to dote on me. but please, please, PLEASE stop asking me what i ate for dinner. one, it's usually sad and something pathetic and two, if i didn't actually eat dinner, i hate lying to you. i also wish you would listen to that nice lady who comes to visit from around the block once in a while and trust in "yeh-soh" because He really does love you. i hope you know that i'm trying to show you that i love you by coming to visit as often as i can, even though my chinese is really crappy and i can't communicate worth beans.



dear cory monteith,

you are adorable and i want to cover your face with a million kisses every time it pops up during glee. i have often wondered if that bewildered look is a product of really good acting, or if that's your natural face, but have decided that doesn't really matter. i'll still give you my phone number if you ask for it.

one of the embarrassingly older fans at columbus circle a few weeks ago


dear douchebag med students:

please stop preying on my nursing school friends. i know, and you know and they know that they are smarter, sweeter, and sexier than your lame asses, so why don't you man up for once in your lives and leave them alone. they deserve better than you. also, please try to refrain from procreating for the next 10 years or so.

the self professed RN intervention specialist


dear jesus guns,

i like what you're doing, so good job! keep it up! but please pipe up soon or else i'll have to and it'll be awful and awkward.



dear lawrance,

i miss you. we all do. i wish you didn't have to go out like this, but i hope you found what you were looking for at church the week before. i will always remember your crazy songs about indian girls on the guitar. nick and i are going to get beers and i'm planning on getting trashed in your honor--i like to think you'd like that. :)



dear incompetent co-worker,

i'm sorry to say that i am not looking forward to working with you. when you can't tell that a patient's heart is about to give out from looking at an ECG strip, i feel very anxious for the lives of our future shared patients. hopefully you'll get a nice, long orientation. the nurses on nights are very nice and very knowledgeable--they taught me a lot of what i know.

good luck,
she who keeps "working from home"


dear dr. hall,

i was pleasantly surprised with our interaction last week. i was thoroughly amazed with your ability to multitask with 6 different people and for the 5 minutes that i had your undivided attention (a rarity, i know) you were able to clear away my questions and concerns by rearranging my schedule. i'm a little terrified of taking your class next semester, but hopefully i'll see more of that 5-minutes-of-undivided-attention-libby and less of the one i saw last semester.

the one who you called "krystal." wtf, do i look like a stripper to you?

ps, for someone your age, you have AMAZING legs, although the length of your skirt was somewhat questionable


dear andrew lehr's nurse educator,

your hostility the one morning i met you was startling. no one has never NOT smiled in response to my "good morning"s. i have never had such an unpleasant ECG lesson in my life (especially since my last lesson was by a magical irish nurse named mary moran), nor have i ever seen an educator actually yell at someone for asking a question. i hope you treat your future educatee's nicer and do them a favor: stop giving them the test answers.

the one who came back from lunch late because she had to take a school exam which she nailed in half an hour flat. so there.


dear berta,

you were the best i've ever had. you were gentle and understanding, and moved slow with me. it was exactly what i dreamed it would be! i will come back for as long as i'm in new york, and i will always ask for you. thank you for the best first-in-nyc-pedicure experience a girl could ask for. my toes are in the best shape they've ever been in, and the color is beautiful.

the girl who apologized profusely for not shaving her legs

ps, also sorry about the colombia comment. i know that ecuador and colombia are not the same place, but i was trying to make a connection.

No comments:

Post a Comment