Monday, April 11, 2011

On Manbits

i'm going to out myself now and just say that STDs fascinate me--clinically, of course. STD clinic was probably my favorite "extra" clinical placement in all of FNP school. it's just so bizarre how many shapes and ages and forms of people came, dropped their pants and/or spread their legs to be examined. i especially enjoy doing pelvic exams (clinically, of course). as weird as this sounds, cervixes are sometimes very difficult for me to find and it's so rewarding when pops into view on first try! manbits, on the other hand, are not very exciting to me (clinically, of course). a dude drops his pants and bam!--his junk is there, no mystery at all.

this week i'm studying my brains out and true to self, cramming like a maniac for my boards next week. tonight i'm going through the male genitourinary system, which, if all the answers i'm getting wrong are anything to go by, i actually don't know very well at all. i guess there's a little bit of mystery after all. after studying this chapter, i have a few observations/more questions:

1) i thought i knew a lot about syphilis, but according to the practice questions, i only 33% know syphilis. i am 100% sure, however, that i do not ever want to contract syphyilis myself.
2) i hope to god i never have to see lymphogranuloma venereum in my life.
3) how come so many bad things happen to left testicles? friends in the know, please advise.
4) i am very, very glad i do not have a prostate. although if i had to choose between prostate problems and frequent yeast infections, i'm not sure what i'd pick.
5) did you know to cut off blood flow to a testicle it has to twist at least 720 degrees? that involves quite a bit of effort, unless you have very flappy balls.
6) epididymo orchitis. orchiopexy. when i first started nursing school, i was very confused what male genitalia had to do with singapore's national flower.
7) while i thought i knew nothing about HPV and anorectocancer, i am apparently very good at guessing on multiple choice questions about both of those topics.

the boards are so close. i feel like i'm slow-stepping to the gallows. just need to get it done and over with, i guess.

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