Tuesday, January 11, 2011

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

today was one of those wonderful epic days that was so good i need to interrupt my drawn-out (nearly finished, i promise!) narrative of paris to talk about. before i delve into the nitty gritty details, there are a few things that i've noticed about days like these:

1) fun always involves tessa chamberlain. (or is it tessa is always fun? eh, either way.) my last great day was with her and sweinkauf floating down the river that resulted in some truly historical sunburns, even on my filipino skin.

2) fun does not always involve a lot of alcohol, but sometimes it does, like it did today. more on this later.

3) fun can also sometimes involve zac efron, whether it's the good natured fun like in high school musical (don't judge, please) or the this -is-ridiculous-and-we-will-now-laugh-at-your-attempts-to-be-an-artist fun.

4) fun isn't always, but usually is expensive. $30 lunch plus lost $80 bet = a lot of money.

it started a few months ago, tessa and i decided that to boost our resumes and to take advantage of at least some of the free perks that come with the misery of working at the 'Stein, we were going to take the ACLS class. i have never taken ACLS, and assumed that we would get similar instruction as my BCLS class, which was phenomenal and led by nursing education staff.

ACLS class for first timers is a 2 day course, on two consecutive tuesdays from 9-5 each day. it was like going to school and studying for something for 16 hours, and let's be honest--i haven't truly studied for about a year and a half now (don't be fooled, just because i just graduated from school doesn't actually mean i learned anything). i woke up and was thankful that at least the start time was late, but dreaded a full day of sitting in class. at least the instructors would be informative.

it turns out i was all wrong. we started half an hour late. the instructor was not informative. in fact, rarely have i ever met an instructor whose teaching style i so disliked. complete disregard for evidence based practice and when i brought it up, he told me not to get fancy. information was haphazardly dispensed, taught without any sort of rhyme or reason, and while i'm sure he knew a lot, he sure sucked at demonstrating it. i'm not even sure what sort of credentials he had to teach the course except for "i'm a retired cop," which i'm pretty sure is NOT a noteworthy qualification. he also kept calling all of us "doctor." "doctor, what do you want to do now? this joker ain't breahing." or "doctor, it's your call, what's next, doctor?" i felt a very strong need to grab him by the face and tell him that i was a nurse, by choice, and so was everyone else in the room except the random pharmacy chick. it was sort of like my entire FNP program revisited. needless to say i was not a super happy camper. the upside to all of this is that we started at 9:30 and ended at... 11:45. yes that's right. 5 hours early. including a 15 minute break.

well the day picked up from there. we picked up textbooks (which would have maybe been a little more helpful beforehand) on our way out, and tessa and i decided to have lunch. with wine. maybe a bottle. no, definitely a bottle. we stopped at this newly renovated lunch place right around the corner that used to be called plum pomodoro and is now called something snooty like columbia social club. or something. who cares? they had alcohol.

we ordered flank steak sandwiches and between the two of us polished off an entire bottle of merlot. by the end of lunch i was too toasted (before 1pm!!!!) to do anything except follow tessa to her house, stopping by a westside market for almonds (to make a cake later; even when inebriated, my priorities are straight) and additional last minute purchases of carrot cake and chocolate and then settled onto her amazing couch to watch charlie st. cloud.

you know, i did NOT think it was that complicated a movie from the commercials, but i just didn't get it. was she dead? was she alive? i thought it was going to be a twist and they'd all be dead like in the sixth sense (a movie that i've actually never seen, but certain brannon morrison spoiled it for me, so now i'll spoil it for everyone else) but silly me, i should have realized that anything with zac efron in it shouldn't ever be that complicated. i bet tessa an $80 dinner that everyone was dead... and lost. the only person who died was the little brother. oops. maybe she won't remember. :D also sorry if i spoiled the movie for you, but honestly, i just saved you an hour and 39 minutes of your life that you can do something productive and rewarding with.

i passed out during the credits and woke up, disoriented and not sure where i was (i swear that's not a frequent thing) to that commercial for pajama jeans and sort of wanted a pair. for $40 bucks plus a free tshirt, that's practically like stealing! good thing i suppressed my impulsive nature, because now that i'm almost sober, they seem like a terrible idea.

anyways now i have a clementine cake cooling on my stove and i am snuggling with clyde who is going to get adopted at the end of this week and i can honestly say that this has been a good, good day. the end.

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