Friday, February 13, 2009

On Getting Recruited

my favorite farmer's market in california is in mountain view.  it's big and busy and has pretty much everything i could want--a cheese vendor, a british veggies vendor, a japanese florist vendor, acme breads is there and one that does cheaper brussel sprouts than the others.  the one thing i absolutely can't stand about the mvfm is the clown that hangs out opposite the japanese florist.  i hate clowns.  i'm sure my reasons are the same as everyone else's--they've got the fake faces and they're eerily big eyed and i think i've had at least one bad nightmare that involved clowns with makeup gone wrong. 

this week i started a new rotation, this time in pediatrics.  those who know me (and maybe you don't even need to know me that well) know that i hate children.  they're whiny and needy and generally are bratty and snot-nosed and self-absorbed.  most people can look past this--i can't handle it.  i was assigned a kid who had lots of problems, but in general had the worst pouty face in the world.  it's nearly impossible to frown so that it looks like an upside-down smiley face, but this kid had it down.  always mad, always frowning, always grumpy, always crying.  granted, he had a lot of shit going on, but i couldn't handle it.  i couldn't dredge up even an inkling of pity in my hardened heart.  

i was on my hands and knees trying to get my patient to sit still and stop crying so that i could listen to his heart when the Clowns approached.  oddly enough, they didn't bother me too much. i think it was because the creepyclownmakeup was kept to a minimal.  plus they blew really cool bubbles.  my partner for the day noticed that one of the clowns had a ukulele and talked him into forcing me to play it.  

i love playing the marvin the purple ukulele.  i love its unique sound and that all of the songs that you play on it sound cute and endearing.  but i can't handle performing in front of people.  my clinical group got me to play a couple of songs for them and even that--performing in front of good friends--made my legs all wobbly.  

anyways so i managed to play a few songs (his ukulele played like a dream!) and unintentionally drew an audience, enough to make me get skittish again.  but apparently it didn't show because afterwards, the Clowns approached and handed me a card with a name on it and said that i should consider joining their group.  

when i was telling a friend about this, she told me that clowns make six figure salaries.  is that true?  if so, screw nursing.  i'll take playing the ukulele and blowing bubbles for a living any day. 

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